How Did I Survive Life & Love After HEARTBREAK? By Terry D.
How
did I survive life & love after Heartbreak?
I
hear my clients say all the time:
Maybe I’m not meant to be with anyone
I don’t think I can survive another failed
relationship
At least I have someone
What’s wrong with me?
NO NO NO – stop that
foolishness
Well, let me tell you:
I dated someone for
years that was a compulsive liar, and a repeat offender of cheating. I
continued to forgive him – I know what you’re thinking – who in their right
mind would stay with someone like that? I asked myself the same thing,
and thought I would never escape my self doubt and insecurities. See, it
wasn’t him to blame for the madness, it was me for not thinking I could do
better, but YES, I survived, and I’m free. I’m free mentally, physically
and emotionally.
There is life after Heartbreak!
You
name it, I've been through it, as a lot of us have, but I covered up my
insecurities with sex and loveless relationships! Judge me if you want,
but I feel like someone lifted a Mack truck off my heart. My biggest
breakthrough came when I had a complete meltdown in the middle of my bedroom
floor. Crying uncontrollably, and releasing the toxins and stench of
deceit.
After I realized I didn't love myself enough, I started counseling, I prayed, I STOPPED lying to
myself, I accepted what “I” contributed, and I finally started confiding in my close
friends. I needed an outlet, and I was no longer going to hold this all
in. To my surprise, there were other women going through, or had been
through something similar. Don’t get me
wrong, everyone won’t understand, and it’s not for them to…
So,
for those of you who may be struggling with this same issue, here’s what helped
me:
It’s a process, and there’s no quick fix, but
it’s not your final chapter – keep reading
I remained in
counseling
I stayed prayed up
“If
you don’t seek help, you will continue to repeat and attract the same
characteristics in men!” –Terry D.
IN BETWEEN THESE STEPS, I CRIED
A LOT, SOMETIMES DOUBTED MYSELF & EVEN SLIPPED UP AND CALLED HIM, BUT I
DIDN’T GET TOO DOWN ON MYSELF, THAT I COULDN’T RECOVER, GET BACK UP & KEEP
IT MOVING…
I actually wrote down
the things that happened, where it took a turn and why I stayed so long
I stayed away from
dating until I was healed and able to trust
I FORGAVE HIM, AND THEN
I FORGAVE MYSELF
Forgiveness was key,
but I also had to get to the core of the problem, and why I thought any of this
was okay. Counseling definitely helped me with this and boy oh boy did I
get clarity, and the true healing began…
What was my core problem?
It was the negative seeds mentally planted throughout my life, that I
never knew would contribute to my dysfunctional relationship habits.
Don’t
allow others to judge you because of your choices, because everyone has been
through something, going through something, or may very well be on their way to
something, and we all cope differently, none of us are exempt…
Terry D. Editor-in-Chief
Love
Chapters
Helping
Grown Folk Write Their Next Chapter of Love
Terry D. is an avid Relationship Blogger, and invites you to follow her BLOG at www.lovechapters.net, follow her on twitter @love_chapters
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