Monday, September 15, 2014

How to Encourage Yourself By Marita Kinney

Life can be overwhelming sometimes and you could fall into depression if you lack daily encouragement. It’s easier to stay encouraged than to pull yourself out from depression. Most of us agree that preventive maintenance is better than digging yourself out from being depressed or discouraged. There are many benefits to having a positive attitude and being encouraged especially when you’re experiencing hard times. Lack of encouragement can cause some women to feel rejected, insignificant, and under-appreciated. I must inform you that if you’re seeking outside validation then you may become disappointed each time. You have to search within yourself and pull out that inner strength of knowing your worth and value. It’s dangerous to sit around and wait for other people to affirm you. What if no one takes the time to encourage you? When you chose to hand over that control to someone else, your happiness is placed in the palm of their hand and you become the victim if they fail to meet your expectations.
Encouraging yourself will take some practice. You must learn to cancel out your negative thoughts by an abundance of positive thoughts towards yourself. Your mind and thoughts can become your worst enemy and it will take some work to lead your thoughts and not follow your negative thoughts. Here are some tips to practice self-encouragement.
  •  Do Not trust your feelings-sometimes your emotions can and will deceive you.
  • Focus on your assets and not your short comings.
  • Surround yourself with positive people.
  • When receiving advice, ALWAYS consider the source.
  • Don’t ignore compliments, write down the compliments that people give you.
  • Whenever you get discouraged refer to your compliment notes.

Writing your compliments down could literally become a life saver. There are times in life when you may become too weak mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to pull any encouragement out. If this ever happens, your book of compliments can offer you the encouragement that you need. I have personally referred to my book of compliments during really tough times in my life. During my first book signing I passed around a notebook and asked my guest to write down words of encouragement for me. I had no idea how important that book would become when I found myself years later battling depression. You may hear people telling you to encourage yourself and it almost becomes a cliché, but it’s not. Encouraging yourself will give you the opportunity to live your life in a different perspective. You can embrace your life for the teaching lessons that it offers, the ability to see yourself in a brighter light, and opportunity to love yourself completely.

If you have the desire to see yourself differently, than you just have to start seeing yourself differently. It may take some time, but you can do it! Writing out all of your personal pros and cons will allow you to see how you truly see yourself. Look at the cons and realize what you can improve and what you have no control over. The areas in which you can make some changes, commit to a small goal to improve whatever it is that you are not satisfied with. The things that you cannot change, write down a more positive way of viewing that area in your life. The way you see yourself is only a reflection of your thoughts.

Marita Kinney, BCC


  1. It can be so hard to change our own thoughts though, it seems nearly easier to change others. Worse is having an inflated sense of self worth with little to back it up, that nobody sees but yourself... how do you combat the feeling that you're the only one who thinks you're worth it?

  2. Excellent question? What matters the most is how you see yourself. If you believe the positive things others perceive about you, you'll also the negative. It's great to accept compliments, however you must be believe your truth. Even if your the only person who sees your worth, that's enough. You teach others how to treat you. You set the tone, you set the stage.