Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Somebody…Anybody…Help me be a Better Parent! By: Latoyia Dennis

As with almost all of my preconceived notions….I was wrong about parenting too.  I was the absolute best parent, until I became one.  I learned very quickly, what you say is not nearly as important as what you do. And no matter how hard you try, you will never be a perfect parent. 

I consider parenting the most important definitely not the easiest job.  It’s hard…even scary at times. When you’re dealing with your own insecurities, had a rough day, and now you are home having to dig deep to find constructive words but you aren’t feeling very positive. Or you know the times when you wish that you could click your heels and disappear for just 10 minutes of peace and quiet?

The trick is to relax.  Those are the moments when your response are the most critical. Those on the spot parenting moments will help your child more than you know.  Good parenting happens in real time, on the spot, and in the moment. You are teaching your child with your temperament and posture.  He/she may be young but they are paying attention.  Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums & Tears (McGraw-Hill) said, "From how you handle stress to how you celebrate success to how you greet a neighbor on the street, your baby is observing you and finding out how to respond in various situations."  

Another acceptable response option is….don’t do anything.  Allow them act on their own thoughts until you get yourself together.  Put a few toys in the floor, paint supplies on the table, or a book or two for them to read. "Their identities emerge when they are left to their own devices”, says psychologist Michael Gurian. Don’t be afraid to take time to collect yourself in order to respond in the most positive manner possible. Your child will be engaged while you “woosaa” a moment.  

Being a better parent is about trusting yourself.  Trust yourself and your good intentions toward your children. Don’t allow guilt to plague you because you are experiencing being human.  There’s no magic formula to parenting, you can’t wave your magic wand and create a perfect home, perfect children or perfect world.  Create a relationship with your children, do your best at being an example, communicate gently with authority, and love them with your whole heart….and you will be just fine, and more importantly so will they.

Follow Latoyia Dennis on @LatoyiaDennis
 and visit her website at 


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