Tuesday, February 14, 2017

"Who’s in Control?" by Sylvia Duncan

Last month, I told you that hopelessness is a dream killer and can manifest and be reflected in how you dress, how you move and most importantly, what you say.  And, although I used impoverished communities as a hub for where hopelessness is more prevalent, the truth is, hopelessness can rear its ugly head in even the most prominent communities, and with those who think they have it “all together”. 

This month, I want to talk about the source of hopelessness.  Where does this dream killer originate?  What are some of the signs you should look for to determine if you are in this life destructive state?  To do that, first I want to share a little of my history.  I grew up in a violent atmosphere, witnessing the physical abuse of my mother.  It was when I became an adult that I realized I had experienced something ‘life altering’.  When I came to that realization, as I looked back over my life, I saw that I tried to ignore the pains of the past, by telling myself, “what is past is past”.  Unaware however, that the “residue” of what was left behind after the wake of the violence, was just as destructive as the violence itself; low self-esteem, lack of confidence and fear.  I never felt good enough, smart enough or capable enough to achieve success or happiness.  

Do you see yourself here?  Instead of stepping out in faith, you shrink back in fear.  Instead of acting with confidence, you feel that you don’t have what it takes, that you’re not “good enough”, not “smart enough”, not “whatever” enough.  It really doesn’t matter, what matters is that you understand that hopelessness is fed by these self-limiting thoughts and behaviors.  Your thoughts are the source.  The more you entertain thoughts that tell you that you can’t do something or you’re not worthy or capable, the more you view yourself as “less than” or feel shame because of something from your past, the more you feed the leech of hopelessness.
  
Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand that there are times when you may need a little professional help to move past these self-limiting behaviors and thoughts.  And, if that’s you, then let me encourage you to seek the help of a professional, starting with your personal physician.  However, there are times when you just need a little reminder that you hold the power within you to take back control of your life.

Take Back Control!

Taking back your control will require several action steps, but first you must determine whether you are being held captive by this dream killer.  Below are three questions to help you determine if hopelessness has a hold on your life:

1. Do you feel you’ve missed Gods will for your life? 
2. Are you regularly experiencing the feeling of being held captive by self-defeating thoughts and behaviors?
3. Do you regularly spend time reliving the pain from the past?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time to take back control of your life. Next month, we’ll discuss the process of freeing yourself from the grips of hopelessness to live a happy and whole life.

Until next time,

Always live with purpose…on purpose.

Visit www.sylviaduncan.com and sign up to receive Detox Chronicles a bi-monthly newsletter with action steps to live life happy and whole!

Be sure to follow Sylvia Duncan onTwitter @LifeDetoxCoach and check out her products & services at www.sylviaduncan.com

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