Self-Reliance Got You Here but THIS Will Take You Further By Monique Caradine-Kitchens
Then, Iris said it out loud.
“We’re strong. We’re resourceful. We figure things out. But we’re also holding everything.”
Our own opportunities.
Our own momentum.
Even our own accountability.
Yes, we both know the value of having a coach–heck, I am the author of the quote “every winner has a coach!” However, for various reasons, we both found ourselves without coaching support for the past several months. In fact, when my coach Brenda passed away a while back, I went years without the kind of consistent support I needed to do the things I desire to do.
You see, for women like Iris and me–those who’ve spent decades being dependable, capable, and self-sufficient–moving through life and business without support can feel normal or even empowering. We’re used to making things happen on our own.
But here’s the truth we had to face:
Doing it all and holding ourselves accountable to our next level might actually be slowing us down.
Accountability isn’t about discipline. It’s about having someone outside of your own head who can reflect back what you can’t always see when you’re busy being the engine, the driver and the mechanic of your life and business.
When you’re only accountable to yourself, it becomes very easy to:
• delay bold decisions
• normalize staying comfortable
• talk yourself out of opportunities that stretch you
Not because you lack ambition, but because you’re human. So what does real accountability look like for women leaders and solopreneurs?
1. It's getting up close and personal with your goals and desires.
Not just writing them in a notebook, but sharing them with someone who can check in, follow up, and ask, “Did you do the thing you said you were going to do?”
2. It includes feedback, not just encouragement.
We all love support, but growth requires someone who can lovingly challenge our patterns and call out when we’re playing small or overthinking.
3. It gives you space to find your rhythm and uncover what’s really holding you back.
Healthy accountability isn’t about stress or adding more to your to-do list. It’s about consistent movement, steady progress, asking the right questions, and having a structure that keeps you from starting and stopping every time life gets busy.
Here’s what Iris and I realized in that conversation:
We don’t need to be more capable. We have years of experience in our fields and a track record of proven results. What we need is more consistent support and accountability.
That realization was freeing.
For women who are already high-achieving, accountability matters. It multiplies your impact. It helps turn intention into execution, vision into strategy, and dreams into reality.
Being strong got you this far. Support, structure, and accountability will help take you where you want to go.
This is the first of a series where I’ll explore different layers of accountability. For now, I’ll leave you with this question:
If you’re honest, who is holding you accountable to becoming the next version of you?
Monique Caradine-Kitchens is the founder of OverFlow Enterprises, a company that offers coaching, content, and community for women leaders 45 and older. With a background in TV & radio and a heart for empowering people, Monique has helped women launch podcasts, build brands, start businesses, tell their stories, and monetize their genius. Monique has been featured in top national media outlets, including CNN, National Public Radio, FOX News, ESSENCE Magazine, SIRIUS XM, BlackEnterprise.com, and many more. Since 2023, her company has produced three podcast series, two of which have reached the top 10% of podcasts globally. These days, Monique’s goal is to help women succeed while prioritizing ease, grace, accountability, and rest.
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