3 Ways to Give and Earn Respect at Work by Jenny Garrett
The late Aretha Franklin sang it
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
A little respect (just a little bit) is what we all want isn’t it? In my experience, there are times and places where I have felt highly respected, cared about and valued at work and then times when ‘banter’ has gone too far, and I’ve felt bullied or belittled. You can guess which environment got the best from me.
Perhaps you’ve met those people who seem to throw their weight around because of their job title? It might get things done but it doesn’t earn respect. Demonstrating integrity in your words and in your actions, as well as showing how you make a positive impact is essential to earning respect.
In respectful environments people perform, they follow rules while also calling out poor behavior, they feel good about being there, feel secure in their work relationships and cared about. The Society for Human Resource Management released a report stating that “respectful treatment of all employees” was the number-one contributor to job satisfaction. And “trust between employees and senior management” was the second.
This means that above all of the perks and management tricks, treating each other like people is what really matters. Whether you’re starting a company or part of growing one, developing a culture of respect and trust should be a priority.
Changemakers develop good respectful relationships in the workplace, and with February being the month of love, caring and compassion, here are 3 ways to bring that respect into your work life.
1. Engage with Compassion and Curiosity
Years ago, I looked on in awe at a colleague, Trevor, who could connect with anyone, a fifty plus white male who was just as comfortable speaking to a disaffected working-class black teenager as he was to a senior government official. When I observed him, I noticed that he suspended judgment while taking the time to truly understand other’s behavior. Understanding the needs, values and beliefs that influence an individual’s behavior can really change your attitude toward them.
When you truly listen to them, you are able to develop empathy for their position or situation. Trevor was also able to accept facts. This does not mean that he agrees with or approves of other’s choices, it simply means that he was able to acknowledge the facts without any value judgment.
This engagement with compassion and curiosity is the type of behavior that creates an inclusive culture which can help organizations to be more productive and creative in the long run.
2. Address Conflict Positively
There’s always that one person who riles you, who you struggle to communicate with, or perhaps it’s gone as far as you being enemies.
How you handle conflict is probably a fair indication of your ability to cope with both your own stress and the reactions of others to stressful situations. Too often, handling conflict isn’t done respectfully. Instead, we blame, criticize, have angry outbursts or just avoid dealing with the situation.
To communicate with respect, you need to depersonalize difficult situations. It’s likely that if an individual is angry at the situation, it’s not about you personally. Do really listen and allow the other person to speak.
If it’s appropriate to apologize, do so and mean it, don't blame others. Be the sort of person that does what you say you will and if it’s in your remit, train your people in how to solve their day-to-day disagreements informally, rather than escalating them to formal grievances.
3. Show Colleagues that you care
Little acts of kindness won't go unnoticed - particularly at work. So, when's the last time you did something nice just because you felt like it?
* Pack an extra snack. Not all acts of kindness need to be grand gestures. You can just share a snack with one colleague on a day they seem out of sorts. Pack an extra one in your lunch or keep a few in your drawer for such an occasion.
* Buy coffee for everyone on the team. If you can splurge, then pick a random day to swing by the local coffee shop and surprise your colleagues by bringing everyone their favorite drink.
* Mentor a new colleague. Think back to your first few months on the job. Chances are, you felt like a fish out of water. Anyone new to the office probably feels the same. Take a recent hire under your wing and show him the ropes.
Remember: Respect is something you have to earn - you need to work for it!
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