Friday, November 2, 2018

The Power of Choice by Sylvia Duncan

I’ve heard it said that after waking up, the average person makes about 12 decisions before 9am. A study by Cornell University says that individuals make 70 + choices every day. We choose what to wear, we choose what to eat, we choose the route we’ll take to where we need to go. The key words here are “We Choose”, it’s our choice; our power if you will.

Yes, there is power in choice. And yet, we run the risk of becoming complacent when it comes to making choices. Most of our choices are done subconsciously. Sure, you may choose the route you’ll take to where you’re going, however, odds are you will drive that route without thinking about driving it because you probably know it like the back of your hands. So, you drive it without thinking about where to turn, or even when to stop. You made the choice to take a familiar route, therefore, you don’t have to put any effort into thinking about the actual act of driving.

Destiny is Determined by Choices

If we really understood, that our destiny is determined by what we do, we will be more focused and intentional when making choices. Our choices direct the course of our lives, every choice we make designs the future we’ll live. That said, every choice could also potentially have infinite consequences, meaning, any choice you make could continue to make choices for you, long after you’ve forgotten you made the choice. Couple that, with the fact that the moments in your life, will never come again, that once a moment happens, it happens and then it’s gone, and you have reason enough to think through and be intentional about the act of choosing.

However, there are circumstances and situations that happen to us due to the choices of others, and although we had no say in the choice and have no control over the consequence, we do have control over its impact in our lives. For example, I grew up witnessing violence against my mother at the hand of my father. I loved both parents and had no control over the actions of my dad or the inaction of my mom because she made the tough choice to stay. But, what I do have control over is the impact of those circumstances in my life now. I’m intentional about the choices I make for several reasons, however, one of the most important reasons is not to repeat the cycle of abuse I witnessed. Knowing what I know now, I have total control over my own choices, and I choose to make choices that design a life of peace for me. Those choices determine who and what will be in my life as it relates to the peace I desire. I am unapologetically deliberate about my choice when it comes to my peace, as well as choices in every other aspect of my life.

Decide to Be Deliberate
To ensure your life is going in the direction you desire, decide to become more deliberate about the choices you make. Don’t let circumstances or situations decide for you. Your choice is your power, take the time to choose what’s best for you.

Here are three decisions you can make, to help you make choices. Decide to:

1. Take time to determine your state of mind before making a choice.      When you are in the wrong state of mind, you will make the wrong choice. If you experienced some form of adversity, ask yourself, “is what happened to me, affecting my choices?”

2. Always do the right thing – live with integrity. Honest people make good choices. 

3. Take risks. Our choices can also be an indication of our desire to change. If you stick to the familiar, you won’t make the choice towards change. And, in some cases, if you don’t change, you won’t grow.

Lastly, choose to wake every day, blessing your day. Because every day you wake up is a day you get to make choices.
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Thursday, November 1, 2018

The One that Got A Way By Yvette Gavin

Long before Katy Perry’s song, the one that got away was a phrase often echoed in a fisherman’s story. It usually means the big fish that got away because the one that got away is always bigger than the one that got caught, right? When it comes to relationships, what does this idolism really means?

Its most popular meaning is rooted in regret and implies that there is someone, in hindsight, that we regret not being with because when we look back there is a feeling of loss. My sister’s coincidental meeting with my ex-boyfriend from college got me thinking about the fisherman’s phase from a different perspective when she told me that my ex referred to me as ‘the one that got away.’ He’s an ex for a reason so I wasn’t interested in his regrets, but I was very interested in understanding what the statement says about the person who is bold enough to be the one that got away. 

Whether it’s a dating, marital, work or friendship, walking away for a toxic relationship takes courage. Stability is often the reason my coaching clients give for staying on a job or in a personal relationship that is not healthy for them. I believe where there is no peace, there is no stability. Being the one that got away is an amazing label to have because the one that got away is the one that lives another day. Another day to love again, another day to dream again, and another day to achieve new goals.  Here are three major traits of the one that got away:

1.  She prefers Celebration over Toleration. Paul F. Davis said it best when he coined, “Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated.  

2.  She Respects Herself. Respecting others require respecting yourself.  It is impossible to give what you don’t have. Too many people allow disrespect in the marketplace and in personal relationships because they haven’t learned how to respect themselves.  When one has self-respect, they don’t allow others to disrespect them with low pay, hostile words, and unloving behavior.

3. She is Wise.  Regardless of the platform—one-on-one conversations, before an audience, or in prayer—the one that got away knows when and how to express your thoughts, lean in, set personal bounties, and move forward.

Yvette Gavin has coached individuals into higher paying jobs, more rewarding careers, and personal spiritual growth. A dynamic organizational leader, Yvette has helped Fortune 100 companies and small businesses to improve the quality of their deliverables and to build stronger and highly productive teams. Yvette is the author of Recalibrate! Navigating the Job Market with Confidence. Visit Twitter: @yvettegavin

Monday, October 29, 2018

Moving Beyond Your Baggage by Jacquie Hood Martin, PhD

Day10aClarity is key to moving your life forward. When you gain perspective, a flood of questions can come running through your mind. How did this happen to me? How did I lose my view of myself? My life? How could I not see this going on around me? Sadly, it is not uncommon to miss the warning signs. At first glance, they seem benign, trivial, coincidence. We brush off the warnings as ‘matter-of-course’ when in actuality with each occurrence we shift our perspective rather than factor in the occurrence. When we factor it in or at least investigate, we see how we got to our current state of imbalance. The Law of Perspective, as found in my book Fulfilled! The Art & Joy of Balance encourages you not to just let it pass because nothing ever really passes unless we deal with it straight on. It remains tucked away in the back of your mind, nagging you, begging you to pay attention to it. You have missed the warning sign that can negatively or positively alter your perspective.
When we are continually searching, yet never really settling into where and what we are destined to be, we miss out on the real joy of living a fulfilled life. In order to tackle what you are leaving undone, here are three things on which to focus your effort. Here’s how to regain perspective:
Moving beyond baggage will require you to
1. Resolve issues that keep you off balance.
2. Reconcile relationships or habits that hinder you seeing with clarity; and
3. Reclaim your sense of pride and dignity.

These three outlooks enhance your chances of becoming a balanced person inside and out! Your entire way of life suffers when you are personally off balance. Consider how your professional life could be fairing if you possessed perspective. Then couple it with mental and emotional clarity. Each day beyond today you are discovering how to achieve balance and perspective. You can have peace and spiritual prosperity (1 John 3). It is possible. Yes, what you want out of life is within reach. Now, is the time to gain the perspective needed to attain it! Sometimes you have to exercise self-care as an #entrepreneur You shouldn’t have to wrestle with yourself about being true to yourself. Today, choose YOU over everything else. Living a balanced life is so much more than work/life/ includes personal wellness, mental health, and physical stamina. Know your capacity and be ok with not doing the most or what other people think you should be doing. Do what’s best for you and your brain and your brand. #iBalanceMe 

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